Welcome to Burning Man Hate Week 2014
Start your biodiesel saliva hyrbrid art car engines and beat it, shitwigs. Yes fellow haters, the oppressive and rancid fog of patchouli, grass-fed grass, and self-satisfaction has begun to lift over the greater Bay Area and elsewhere as exodus begins. Haight Street has hushed, Dolores Park is strangely free of jugglers and Bluetooth ear buds, the $6-per-coffee local roastery down the street has been vacated, bandwidth use is down, Whole Foods managers are baffled by the decline in homeopathic medicine sales, Dubstep DJs are out of work, and that dickhead who sits in the cubicle next to you who’s always blabbering about “how cultured” he got in the Mission last weekend is suddenly gone with the playa-sweeping wind. That’s right friends, Burning Man Hate Week 2014 is officially upon us! Praise Jah, jump for joy, and remember to stay hydrated, as hard hatin’ is sure to take it out of ya.